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As if you had any intention of leaving.

Tim's Fun House or something
One time, Humor knocked on this kid's door and said "Hello, my name is Humor." Then Humor punched him in the face. Then Humor kicked him in the ribs. This kid still doesn't know Humor. He will never know Humor. Humor wants to kill him. I want to tape it. DON'T GO. THIS SITE WILL MAKE BOILING PINK TAR POUR OUT OF YOUR SPEAKERS.
 
HENTAI PIRATES!
GO HERE NOW.  MIKE PAYNE.  HUNTER THOMPSON.  IT WILL GIVE YOUR LIFE MEANING.  GO.  NOW.
 
Goodfella Henry
Ray Liotta is a big fat gay.

Untalent
He is behind high oil prices.  Hate him.

Everything Black
It's THE black search engine.  Accept no substitutions.