There's a sense of accomplishment you get from buying movie tickets.  Like the accomplishment your dad gets from mowing the lawn.  Finally I knew that we would make an impact on the monumental cross-breeding of entertainment and freedom.  When I asked for the tickets the woman gave me this odd kind of look like I was going to do something perverted once I got in to this movie.  I don't know what's wrong with the world when a 20 year old can't see a movie aimed at preschoolers without the scornful eyes of a bitter ticket saleswoman.  It didn't help when I gestured to the little boy standing 10 feet to my side.  I thought "Well, maybe she'll think I'm taking this kid who might be my cousin or something to see it."  But the young lad blew our plan under pressure and started crying when I wouldn't stop staring at him.  In retrospect I probably should've just taken the tickets and moved on.  In retro-retrospect, fuck that.  If the kid can't be stared at once in a while he doesn't deserve to see Spider-Man with dry eyes.<p>
ALDP still hadn't arrived and time was ticking.  We had only 30 minutes or so before a world of cowboys and meadows was to be unveiled.  To calm my nerves I decided to play Tekken 4.  I fuddled around with the controls and landed about 2 punches per match against the first level opponents.  Some local ruffian pumped 50 cents in and proceeded to kick the living shit out of me.  After spending about 4 dollars trying to beat the bully, who most of the people referred to as "Rodrigo", I finally got embarrassed and pretended to play Gauntlet Legends in the far corner of the arcade for a while.  Of course I didn't have any more money on me so I just moved the joystick around and made a loud coughing sound to cover up when the stupid game would boom "INSERT QUARTERS TO BEGIN YOUR QUEST!".  Finally, the group of kids left and I saw my opportunity to leave the arcade with dignity.  I still had a lot to learn from the Tekken-playing-man's Seth Killian.  Most importantly who he was.<p>
<TABLE width="100%">
<TD width="80%">
Things were looking bleek as it was almost time for the movie to start and I still hadn't seen ALDP anywhere.  Suddenly I heard this mighty fuel injected roar come from the parking lot.  ALDP smashed through the glass doors of supression on his shining hog as a trail of flaming carnage followed him.  He used a stuffshirt businessman as an impromptu bikeramp and sailed into the air doing four somersaults and landing on a display for a Christina Aguilira movie coming out this summer.  I took a deep breath to hold back my tears of admiration and presented him with his ticket.  "What the fuck are you doing
</TD>
<TD width="20%"><img src="rebel.jpg"><br><b>Here's a glamour shot of ALDP with some words that he was probably thinking typed over him.</b></TD></TABLE>
 here?" he said, taking off his helmet.  Just then I noticed that 3 supermodels were on the back of ALDP's bike.  I explained that I was here for our exclusive Spirit coverage and ALDP just kind of looked at me with a tilted eyebrow and popped some extra cancer enducing chewing tobacco into his mouth.<p>
<TABLE width="100%"><TD width="20%"><img height="100" width="130" src="artistsrebel.jpg"><br><b>Above: ALDP's entrance through the artistic interpretation of 1st grade graduate, <a href="http://www.outreach.psu.edu/users/atb/j.html">Joshua</a>.</b></TD><TD width="80%">"Look, fag..." he began "I don't know what the fuck you're doing here or talking about but I got these 3 whores to fuck and they wanted to see a movie.  Being the good guy that I am I agreed to take them to the shortest thing playing so we could get on to the sucking of my cock.  Turns out, that happens to be some faggot shit about a horse or something.  So just stay out of my way."  He turned and got back on his bike driving it into the theater.  I've always admired ALDP's rich sense of humor even though I never felt compelled to prove myself to him over insane AIM chat sessions. It was time to go to work.<p></TD></TABLE><p><p>
<a href="spirit3.html">What mysteries will we uncover next?  Go on to Part 3.</a>